to whom it may concern (but really i am solely writing this for myself),
i was asked during an interview for nursing school 11 questions, 4 of which had to do with the ever-despised theme of, “Why you? What are your unique strengths, weaknesses?”
The final question was, “What would make you an exceptional nurse at our program?” To which i was shocked, because i had an answer and it wasn’t quantitative…it wasn’t me gasping for measurable things like ability to count or to memorize or to hold my hands steady.
i told them that i feel desperate and passionate about getting back to work with patients, with people. I told them my strength was that i don’t look at people and feel bad for them or think how terrible it must be — i see them and i want to be able to help them. I need their school, the skills they teach to make that possible. Mentally and emotionally i am dedicated to these people that are hard to reach, that literally smell up the waiting room when they walk in. I’m ready to listen and work from my heart, not from an excel spreadsheet.
I literally felt tears in my eyes because i couldn’t explain it any better than that.. yes, I need the hard knowledge and the ability to make sound medical decision but most importantly i feel like i already have mostly working parts you cannot teach — i want to heal and i want to walk alongside my patients and i want to be frustrated with them and probably at them and i want to move forward, and well if we have to go backward than never lose sight of the potential. i’m ready to work hard for a cause that makes my heart beat fast and most likely my winkles grow faster.
in my life, it’s never been about a checklist — i have found little satisfaction in slicing that check mark onto a page. To me, it indicates that i am finished with that work and to be forthright my heart is aching because i feel like i have barely begun,
and that is important, i am so very happy because i feel like i will never be finished and the world will always look like one big adventure to me.
I never want to feel this stagnant again.